Statement of Purpose

“The Statement of Purpose is the single most important part of your application that will tell the admissions committee who you are, what has influenced your career path so far, your professional interests and where you plan to go from here” statementofpurpose.com.

I humbly submit my application to you, oh wise and illustrious graduate school admissions committee members, in hopes that you will pick me, Syndee Wood, to be one of the chosen few. I know that, once I tell you how great I am, you will see that there really is no other choice. You will probably send an email to me before the promised date, out of the excitement you will surely have at the idea of having me, Syndee Wood, in your program.
And so I begin my tale of greatness.

Who I am

I am a mother of four amazing children. You have not heard of them yet, but someday their names will be known in every household, and you will remember that it was me who gave birth to them. All of them. And since they were virginal births, I give no kudos to anyone other than myself, and God, for creating them in their perfection. Since their miraculous entrances, I have strived to show them, through my example, how to be a more perfect human being, and how to leave the earth with the greatest impact, but the smallest carbon footprint.

What Has Influenced My Career Path

It was during my marriage that I realized what I wanted to do with my gifts. I give the credit to my ex-husband. His desire to include me in his journey toward his Bachelor’s degree in molecular cell biology showed me the importance of having people like me in the teaching position. His insistence on repeating for me every single lesson, no genetic or chemical detail left unsketched, convinced me that I was needed out there, in the classroom, if not just to spare the biology spouses from death by monotony. Yes, teaching in a college classroom is more than just my dream; it is my destiny and could save the world.

My Professional and Educational Interests

Once I knew of my future, I had no choice but to reach for it. And so I have spent the last twelve years of my life trying to make you people happy. Writing papers, researching dead white guys, having it pounded into my head that post-modernism is not a theory: do you think I would have done this on my own? No. I was a perfectly good writer and teacher before your professors came along, but I jumped through all of your proverbial hoops in an effort to show you, the powers that be, how dedicated I am to achieving my goal of perfecting the world, one classroom at a time.

Where I Am Going From Here

In conclusion, I plan to submit this application and go have a much deserved drink. In fact, make it a double. I have spent more time on this blessed application process than I have on my classes. Do you see the irony here? I will probably be bumped off the magna cum laude list after graduation simply because I spent so much time working on this essay and this application that my grades fell. I hope you are happy. I hope you appreciate what I have done for you. And I hope you pick me, Syndee Wood, to be a humble but deserved part of your graduate program.